You never realize how fast a year goes by…. until it goes by. Looking a year into the future seems so far away, but a year in the past seems like two weeks ago. Am I the only one who feels that way?
A year ago today, Catherine and I got married at Tybee Island in Georgia. You can check out some more pictures here, and even see what I used for my makeup here! If you want to hear the story of our wedding weekend, you can find that here!
We lived together well before we were married (cue U-Haul joke), so we experienced the “adjustment period” of learning how to live together a long time ago. However, I am still learning things about how marriage works. Relationships and marriage takes constant work and constant learning. With what I have learned so far I wanted to give some advice out to newlyweds, or to those who are engaged or those in long term relationships.
1. Do new things together and document it! No matter how long you’ve been together, there are things you haven’t done as a couple. Go on that trip, go do the thing! If you did something in your childhood but haven’t as an adult, take your spouse with you! If you’ve always wanted to go to that restaurant you can’t pronounce, go together! Take pictures along the way so you can revisit these first down the road. Catherine and I have been together for almost five years and we just took our first camping trip together. Check out that post here!
2. Put the phone down. Really. It can be easy to be near each other on the couch and be on your phones and call that “spending time together”. Take a night or two a week to put your phones away and just be with each other. Go on a drive, play a game of Battleship. Bake cookies together. Converse, laugh, chit chat, just talk to each other. You will value this time so much more than just sitting next to each other while mindlessly scrolling down Facebook.
3. Take time for yourself. If you need some alone time, there is no shame in taking it! You both probably spend every waking moment you’re not at work together anyway, you deserve to have some time alone. You time is essential for your own health. Your partner will also need alone time. Enjoy it!
4. Respect each other. This may seem silly, but it’s true. Respect each others time, money, presence, ideas, feelings, say please and thank you… just respect each other. Don’t just assume something is okay with your partner. Ask them. Can I get five bucks to get us drinks? I’m going out with friends tonight, it’s going to go a little late, is that going to bother you? Do you want to watch Titanic or Fight Club? This doesn’t mean you’re asking permission for things, but it shows them their feelings are in your thoughts.
5. It’s okay to open up to your partner. I know for some people, it may be difficult to open up and talk about feelings. You should be able to do that with your spouse. You’re allowed to vent to each other about work. You can still work things out yourself, but it’s nice to have someone who understands you there to help if you need. It’s what they are there for!
6. Communicate and work together. This pretty much goes hand in hand with number 4, but I felt it deserved a category to itself. If you’re annoyed that your new spouse leaves dishes in the sink, tell them (my wife gets on my case about this). If you want you-time, let your partner know. If you’re braving the mall in December but don’t want to follow your other half around because the crowd is too much, tell them! Your spouse is your spouse, not a mind reader.
This is no way an all inclusive list. There is so much great advice out there!
Thank you for reading! Leave a comment down or send an e-mail. I would love to hear from you!